It’s validating it says, “Your body is real, it deserves to have pleasure, and you are not alone.” I’m really hoping to use the Buck-Off to start conversations outside of the trans male community as well to create larger awareness of trans male bodies and their specific needs. These conversations are so important to our well-being, and it’s why it’s been a years-long dream to actually create a toy that is just for us. For this reason I’ve been on a mission to teach trans guys to love their bodies and through that to love themselves. When I was finally able to love my body and be comfortable with it, I was more comfortable on so many levels that went far beyond sexuality. Though through that I realized that I love sex and that I needed to feel myself and let that be a good thing.” It was not easy at first for me to find the space to feel comfortable touching myself it felt weird because I never did it before I transitioned. Jim, a 23-year-old trans man from Philadelphia told me, “Masturbation is something I do daily. Its pretty amazing how you can engineer things just to masturbate. One guy would even use a small hand towel filled with lube to rub on. Some trans guys showed me how they used the ends of water bottles filled with water to create suction. I would find things like snakebite kits, which are used to suck out the poison from the bite of a snake, or toys like nipple play suction cups, and adapt them to fit me. When that is combined with a detachment from your body or a lack of information or resources, trans men are at risk of not experiencing their best sex lives.īecause there was nothing made for trans men in the sex toy (or “pleasure product”) world, I had to be very inventive! I would cut up products made for the cisgender man and women to fit my anatomy, like dildos that had a suction cup backing, rip that out, and use the hole in the end to masturbate with.
Guys talk about a newly heightened sexual awareness and desire for sex. What makes trans male vaginas and vulvas unusual is that they become enlarged, specifically the clitoris, because of the testosterone usage, and with that our vaginas also become a little bit more sensitive. There was nothing in the sex toy world that was designed for our bodies. Because of this we are always looking for new ways to get off. Masturbation became a daily ritual for me, which is true for many other trans men I have spoken with. It was really a turning point in my identity and my self-love. But that orgasm changed everything for me. It was a weird feeling to enjoy my vagina for the first time - it had always been something that I was not connected to and even hated. It was one of the first times that I penetrated myself, and I felt a bit guilty that I actually climaxed. I personally will always remember the exact moment I realized that my genitals were OK - that my vagina was a part of me and that is was OK to be a man without a penis - and it was through masturbation and orgasm. I was worried about sex, but surprisingly, most of my sexual partners have been very open to me and my body, even if it’s unfamiliar territory for them.” It wasn’t until I saw videos online of your work (a docu-series that I make called Sexing the Transman) that I realized I didn't need a penis to become a man. Kevin, 30, who lives in Brooklyn, said, “Deciding not to go with bottom surgery was something I went back and forth on for many years. I’ve since interviewed and spoken with hundreds of trans guys who echo the same anxieties. I was worried that people would simply be turned off by the idea of a man with a vagina. When I first transitioned, I was worried that I might not be able to find a partner or even love. I have spoken with a lot of trans men through my life and work, and I would estimate that around 90 percent of trans men around the world - I have interviewed men from Sweden, the U.K., Brazil, Mexico, and other countries - have not opted for bottom surgery.įor some this decision comes for financial reasons, for some a fear of complications, and for some it’s more of a “one step at a time” kind of vibe: “Let’s see how this first stage (chest surgery, hormones) feels, and I will take it from there.” Regardless of the reason, the newly transitioned trans man’s body is a new landscape for him, and perhaps one that isn’t very well understood or accommodated, even by the man himself. This means that the world has a significant number of men with vaginas. Here is a simple fact that not a lot of people realize: Many trans men choose not to have what we call “bottom surgery.” That is to say they chose not to have any surgery on the genitals they were born with.